Making friends as an adult is probably one of the hardest things in our lives. Do you agree, ET Mates? Sometimes, it feels hard to open a new conversation with a stranger or a colleague. Or when the conversation gets going, we just do not know how to respond. This is one of the reasons why we feel our circle becomes smaller and smaller as we grow up.
If so, there is good news for you! We can always improve our conversations. Most people do not realize that improving the way we talk can give us a better opportunity to enlarge our networking. Learn these points to keep your conversation going on:
According to a book entitled What Every Body Is Saying, written by Joe Navarro (a former FBI agent who’s great at reading body language). He said that a psychological method should be applied during a conversation to keep it going on. It is called mirroring. It is stated in his book:
When we are comfortable, there should be synchrony in our nonverbal behavior. The breathing rhythm of two comfortable people will be similar, as will the tone and pitch of their speech….. By mirroring another person’s behavior, we are subconsciously saying, “I am comfortable with you.” (Navarro, 2008)
So, next time, you can try to mirror your audience, ET Mates! Such as matching tone and pitch and copying small gestures from your audience. You can also repeat, at least, the last three words they just said.
For example, if they say, “I was going to a supermarket yesterday.” You can repeat, “Oh, so you were going to a supermarket?” That way, you can make your audience feel that they are listened to. Mirroring while having small talks is the best way to keep the conversation alive, ET Mates.
In a conversation, you don’t have to entertain your audience all the time. All you need to do is to be interesting. Now, how do we look interesting to others? Do you have any idea, ET Mates?
To be interesting, we need to show interest in our audience first. You can probably ask personal things (but not too personal). Like, asking about their hobbies or their occupation.
If you have similar hobbies or occupations, you can share what’s exciting about it. After that, ask for their opinion. Then, give positive feedback for their opinion. This time, observe if they are comfortable. If yes, you can be yourself even more!
On the contrary, if you don’t have any similarities with your audience at all, you can always show them that you care about what they do. Also, keep on asking them about what’s exciting in their life. From here, you can have a new friend and new insights – two birds one stone.
Apart from mirroring and being authentic, it is vital to stay genuine. However, on some occasions, you have to show them. Let them know that you will be nice even after the conversation is over, ET Mates.
Here’s how you can show them that you are genuine during the conversation. All you need to do is not display discomfort. For example, try not to cross your arms on your chest or frown, keep your eyes open, and smile often. Also, it is important to respect personal space. Do not stand too close, but do not stand too far.
Make sure they like you too
After applying all of these methods. It is vital to make sure that they like you too. You don’t always ask them if they like you. You can just observe their body language and the quality of the conversation too.
If someone is comfortable with you, they will mirror you back. This time, they will do it subconsciously, while you do it intentionally. Moreover, if they often agree with what you were saying or laugh at your joke sometimes, it is safe to say that they are comfortable too.
Now that you know, you don’t have to be afraid to start a conversation and keep it going. You can always use these methods in making a new connection for a business partner, trying to build a great relationship with a client, or dating. What makes it even better is that you can use these methods in whatever languages you speak, ET Mates.